Who Am I?

So, I know it's been a while since the last update, and I don't really have a good reason (really I do, but it would bore you). But I'm back and will be trying to update more frequently, as I most likely won't be needed for another couple months. So, I'm sure you are wondering about who I am. Here are some burning questions I'm sure you have:

What is your name?
My name is Jon, short for Jonathan. Oh, you mean my full name. My full name is Jonathan Nicholas Kane. Go ahead, stalkers! Try to find me!

What do you do?
I write blog posts! But that's not what I'm paid for, I'm a Lieutenant Junior Grade in the United States Navy. When I'm not on the USS George H W Bush I'm at the Norfolk Naval Base (I live on-base).

Tell me your life's story!
No. But I'll tell you some things about me. I'm 25 years old, an alumni of George Mason University. I was commissioned as an Ensign after graduating in 2006. I majored in psychology, so most of the time I know what I'm talking about. In 2009 I started this blog (duh).

What first gave you the idea to become a blogger
I hate bloggers, I really do. They say so much about nothing to so few. But I read the populationpaste.com blog and realized that the people who wrote it were really funny. I started this a few months later.

Tell me your address!
No.

Everyone's a Winner!

How many time's have you seen a 10 year old boy on a Little League baseball team not get handed a trophy at the end of the season? Hmm. Okay then. How many times have you seen that since disco died? For some strange reason, every kid seems to win something for every s**t they take. Seriously, not even kids who are remotely good at whatever sport or instrument they play gets an award that says anything other than "Participant". I don't know if some study said that kids who get less than 3rd place in anything are going to kill themselves but I highly doubt that's the case.

Did you ever notice how youth sports teams never hold tryouts anymore? Any 160 lb. 2nd grade World of Warcrafter can say they tried out for their local youth association team and got on.

These days, kids are taught "if you are a good sport and try, you will always win", or some similar BS. I hate to break it to your chubby little tyke with low self esteem, but that's not how life works. I did not get my ROTC scholarship because I tried. Any a**f***** can try something. I put a hell of a lot of effort and studied my a** off to get my scholarship and am currently working my a** off to get promoted. So screw your "everyone wins" s*** and teach your kids to actually WORK HARD for something they want and not just be useless. Unless they are born rich or born a politician, everything won't be excused and everything won't come easy. Sorry!

Jon

YouTube Celebrities

Ahh YouTube. Good old YouTube. There is a lot of really funny stuff on there (a lot of creepy stuff, too. I'll address that in my entry on porn though.). 

If you have never been on at least once you are either lying or live in a f***ing cave! I mean, who doesn't love YouTube? People pave their way to [internet] fame on there. Some people deserve it, others don't. 

Top 3 Most Subscribed of all time YouTube celebrities:

Fred- In my opinion, he does NOT deserve half the fame he gets. Granted he's got a decent editing program and some skills with it, but he has over 1 million subscribers all because he shouts random s*** in a high-pitched squeaky voice. It's not even funny 3/4 of the time. My little sister (11) emails me Fred videos all the time. It's a little annoying but I'm thankful now that I didn't delete them all. I've had a wicked flu. I'm on sick leave and bored S***LESS!

Nigahiga- They are really funny most of the time actually. They should have the most subscribers! They're kid friendly and funny. I love how these guys (Ryan and Sean) do the Movies in Minutes. They got famous for their "How to be" videos. Basically they take stereotypes and tell you how do be like that stereotype (in a stereotypical way, of course). So, these guys do deserve all the fame they get and more. 

Smosh- They are like the Fred of 21 year olds (maybe older, too. I enjoy them). It's 2 guys, Ian and Anthony who say they are 21 on their profile. They are like a mixture of Nigahiga, Fred, and Blunty3000. (Minus of course, that annoying squeaky voice and the accents)

So yeah, hopefully my next entry will be better. Like I said, the flu sucks. I can't focus much on anything. I wrote this because I was just bored. Jack Dan and Greg won't let me play cards with them because they don't want to be sick too! Things are kind of boring right now. Anyway, last thing. My little brothers (12 & 14, now) back home and their friends have a YouTube. They wanted me to post it. I told them my blog is a s*** of a lot less popular than their channel, but here it is. 

-Jon 

Emo

Emo. There, what did that make you think of? In all honesty you probably will say something along the lines of self mutilation, self harm, suicide, Gerard Way. According to the link in the title (did you know all the titles are links? They all have something to do with the entry), it's a style of music. Which I, of course, already knew. You know, being the smartest f***ing dude in the world. I'd almost have to be to write blogs this incredible. Anyway, emo is a style of music, not the emo we think of today, which would be Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco, My Chemical Romance, etc. None of that is directly emo style music. Actual emo died off in the 1990s. This included artists such as Taking Back Sunday, Sleep for Sunrise, Sunny Day Real Estate, a full list of what is often considered emo can be found here. 

I took the liberty of going onto Dizzler since it is my civic duty to provide you with my opinion, which I know everyone cares about so much. I actually thought it was okay but if people who listen to emo (come to be called "emos") don't want everybody thinking they're suicidal and depressed they shouldn't use lyrics like this! Taking Back Sunday has a song about suicide! But even though the music is a bit umm... depressing (at best) it's music, damn it. It won't change your thinking or make you depressed and suicidal. (That's directed at YOU, Russia!)

-Jon

Chatspeak in Real-Life-Speak

Now, a lot of things do piss me off, but one thing that just makes me want to run up and kill someone with nothing but my thumb. Who are these people? Mormons that come to my door? People who feel the need to adjust the radio right when the light turns green? People who believe they can convince the entire world of their views? No. No. No. People who, when you say something funny, or unbelievable (which I often do, my friends call me a sarcastic jacka** and a chronic liar, respectively), they blurt out LOL or OMG (respectively). Is it that hard to just laugh or say "that is so funny!". You can say "Oh My God!" . The thing that really makes me loose it is somebody saying "WTF". It is easier to just say "What the f***?". Now, maybe online it's an abbreviation, but in real life, it takes 2 extra syllables! Now, a good amount of the people who loose their concept of the barrier between the internet chatrooms and real life are 12 year old girls, but good GOD! I have heard f***ing 30 year old men with JOBS say "OMGEEZ", "LOL" (only the pronounced it as a word), and BF/GF. WTF (lol)?

-Jon

Creepy S*** I've Found on the Internet

So, aside from my normal way of giving my insight onto my topics, I've just decided to make a list this time. 

• malepregnancy.com
• petsinuniform.com
• meatspin.com
• datejesus.com
• ratemypoo.com
• ratemycameltoe.com
• cryingwhileeating.com
• rotten.com
• abandonedbutnotforgotten.com

Little warning before you visit anything here, some of these websites contain genuinely disturbing material. Rotten.com contains actual images of rotting corpses. I am in no way saying you should go here!

-Jon

World of Warcraft Addiction

Now, I seriously don't get what all the fuss about WoW is about. I downloaded the trial version and enjoyed my 10 Days as a Gnome Mage (I named him Henry and made it to Level 9), but I don't see how I could ever become addicted to it (Hello Kitty Island Adventure: different story...). If it had shut down in the middle of when I was playing I'd be a little peeved but I'd just hang out in the sun all day, tossing a ball around. Now if I'd payed for the full version of the game and was about to advance to some super-high level I'd be pretty f***ing peeved.

Can you tell I just watched Make Love, Not Warcraft? I thought so. For all you non-WoW players (which honestly, there's not that many), in the game you basically complete very menial quests such as killing a number of monsters or delivering supplies to a mountaineer who looks exactly the same as every other mountaineer. I'm of course talking about the low-level quests, as my free trial ran out before I got very high up there. The things that annoyed me about the game the most are as follows:

• Unless you have the most up-to-date computer available, it's as if you're watching a slideshow of your character walking. 
  
• You can only use your character on the server you created it on (I can imagine all of you WoW addicts who jerk off to your female character yelling at me for calling it it)
• If you die you must find your body, then you are resurrected in the spot where you died. This means if you died near giant monsters, they will kill you as soon as you are alive again.
• Only certain races can wear armour and carry weapons.
  

My brother, however, different story. He thinks WoW is the BEST thing ever. He has a paid version which he recently got a couple days ago and he's on it 24/7! Ever since he got his Human Druid he's been a complete a**f***. He feels he needs to prove he's some sort of powerful magic-guy just like his overly-buff blue-skinned long white hair thing in the game. (He's been MMORPG-addicted since before he got WoW, so he looks nothing like his character)

So, to summarize, WoW is fun but honestly not too addicting. Of course it can always be a matter of opinion (I admit to being slightly addicted to the free MMORPG Starfighter:Disputed Galaxy. 

-Jon